I'm not sure why I've been doing this but I've been going around telling myself and anyone that asks that... "My surgery date is the 22nd of Oct but they will probably push it back till November, maybe even December..."
No Natasha they are not pushing it back, it is most definitely happening on the 22nd! I don't know why I've been telling myself that because I don't think that was ever mentioned to me, I've just made it up to get my little scardey cat brain through the weeks as October gets closer. And now look what's happened stupid brain, you have created a false sense of security and now I'm panicking.
|Post double jaw surgery appointment!|
I have all these appointments booked in, including post op, which is both exciting and terrifying. I cried a bit last night, had a bit of a flap and a panic about the whole thing. I'm just scared, scared of it all, scared it will hurt, scared of the hospital, scared of what the results will be like and I'm scared that the results wont be good enough. What if I go through all this and then I still get called names when I walk down the street? Then what do I do, I've always had this surgery as an option to stop all that, but what if it doesn't? I don't have another option, that's it.
I'm scared and nervous, but I'm excited too. I'm excited that this will all be over soon and there is an end in sight.
I don't think the fact that my teeth are causing me so much pain right now is helping my positive thoughts shine through. I had my top wire changed to a big thick strong one and it is soooo painful right now. It's all I can think about, even just my lips touching my teeth as the rest naturally is sore let alone eating anything. Brushing my teeth this morning was near impossible, just waterpiked and mouth washed.
On a more positive note, I am finally getting myself sorted in my new house, had a few problems with the electrics and a few snags but I'm slowly getting my stuff un packed and put in its new space to live. Pictures will be coming soon Sophie Leigh! And my brother is back from Paris on a visit so I am looking forward to going to my mum and dads tonight to see him, reminds me I must pick up some liquid/mushable food for me to take round to eat!
Congrats to Sophie-Leigh, Johanna, Mary C, Katie and Katie on your brilliant surgery recovery so far and thanks for blogging through it, it really helps!
Much Love xxx