Jaw ache booooooooo's

Today I have really bad jaw ache, it has developed into neck ache, eye ache and a headache. I get jaw ache now and again, particularly when I'm eating something that requires a lot of chewing, but today is rather horrid as it seems to have taken over my whole head!

I've noticed recently when I wake from sleeping that my jaws are really clenched shut, and often in a different position/alignment than when I'm awake. Has anybody else experienced this during treatment? 

I've taken some ibuprofen to help with the range of aches and pains coming from the shoulders upwards today, but what I would like is a nice hot towel to wrap around my face and jaw to relax it. Actually what I would really like is a face, head and neck massage! 

I think that the NHS should offer these services free of charge to anybody undergoing this treatment and also a big fat chocolate cake (calorie free) and a cute little kitten or a puppy (you can tick box which one you want) delivered to you every time you are feeling miserable about your stupid teeth/jaw/mouth etc. 

I think all of the above would help a great deal and make this whole process a little bit easier. 

My name's Natasha and I'm a giant, massive, huge wimp!

I have been rather busy lately and unfortunately didn't have a chance to blog about this event until now but on Saturday a letter arrived for me, one that said a bed had been reserved for me on the 15th of August to have my wisdom teeth removed!!! 

My reaction to this letter was as follows;

Oh god, it's too soon! I don't have enough time to prepare myself, how long away is it? What day is that, Wednesday? I'll have to take Wednesday off work. This is going to hurt, I don't want that needle thing in my arm, can they put me to sleep without it? Just give me a tablet to take? I hope they don't mess it up, crap it's only a month away. I don't want to do it, can't they just leave them in. What if i don't wake up. Will I have to take time off work after? I feel sick, I don't want that drip needle thing in my arm, 15th of August, that's only a few weeks away, that's really soon. Oh god I'm scared, I'm really scared. I want my cat. 

 So thankfully I have somewhat calmed down since Saturdays big wimp outburst. I do still have moments of panic when I think about being put to sleep or when I think about what pain I will be in after, or if I will feel sick coming round (I hate feeling sick), or about the 2 giant holes I will have in my gums after.

Despite these moments of panic I am beginning to see this surgery as a positive step, step number 2, towards me having a proper bite and nice teeth. As my lovely Orthodontist said, "Just think of it as a trial run for your double jaw surgery" not sure if those wise words help me to feel better or just create a few more worries and scaredy cat moments!

On Monday I was able to move my wimp focus from the pending wisdom tooth surgery to a more pressing matter, my first brace tightening! So Monday and Tuesday morning was spent worrying about that and feeling rather nervous and anxious, then it was time to leave work and face my fear, go and get my braces tightened!

I was late (a normal occurrence for me, much to the annoyance of my ever waiting family and friends) luckily so was my orthodontist so nobody noticed! He was rather pleased with how quickly my teeth had moved, said they were coming on nicely. I had a thicker wire put on my top teeth, this hurt a little when he was tightening them up but actually not half as much as I thought it would. He left my bottom wire in as my bottom teeth still had some movement in them, he did put a little wire thing around 2 of my brackets, this hurt a bit, they felt much tighter. I don't know what it is or why it's there, but it an absolute food magnet! 

Overall my first brace tightening was not that painful, I'd say on scale of 1 to 10 it came in at 3, my teeth were a bit tender the day after but nothing really to complain about. 

So really I am just a giant, massive, huge wimp that was worried and scared for no reason. I have a sneaky suspicion that my wisdom tooth surgery won't be as bad as I think it will be, and really I will be fine. I have my pre-op on Wednesday 1st August so hopefully the wimp in me won't come out and be a blubbing, scared, mess for the nurse to deal with. Wish me luck! 

1st Brace tightening is approaching

Well it has been a week since i got back from my holiday in Malt and I have the post holiday blues. I was sitting in the sun, relaxing, reading a book, sipping some lovely Maltese rose wine just over a week ago enjoying myself and being happy with newly acquired underbite and amazing new t-shirts!

 Now I'm in cold, very wet, windy and grey England counting down till my 1st tightening appointment with my orthodontist (24th of July). I hope he is pleased with how my teeth have moved and that I'm keeping my teeth and braces clean, I'm still obsessed with cleaning them and worrying that my teeth might go all horrid and fall out. I'm due to have my lower wisdom teeth removed at some point, so hopefully I will find out when that is likely to be at this visit.

I hope this tightening isn't going to hurt too much, maybe I should take some ibuprofen before I go, just in case. It did hurt a bit when he was putting the wires in, is a brace tightening similar to that?

In other news my little brother is back from Paris yaaaaay! He's back till the end of the month which is really lucky as I can drag him to my ortho appointment on Tues for moral support. Lucky him!

The big move!

Whilst I was away on holiday me and braces had a bit of a significant moment...braces has given me a full underbite! My backwards tooth on my lower jaw has finally moved, before braces the backwards bottom tooth and one of my top front teeth used to meet but my other teeth didn't, so i sort of had an underbite apart from these two teeth , giving me a bit of an odd bite. But now that's all changed, good job braces!!!

I am so amazed at how quickly that tooth has moved, it took exactly 4 weeks and 4 days to straighten that tooth out and give me an underbite. Although i am really struggling to bite through/rip any food, I am rather proud of my new bite, it's a big step for me and my mouth and we are a little bit closer to where we want to be.

6 weeks with braces

6 weeks with braces - I have an underbite

6 weeks with braces - backwards tooth is straight!

6 weeks with braces - my underbite is here!

6 weeks with braces - nice and straight top teeth now

6 weeks with braces

I can see that my face is changing and that my bottom lip sticks out a bit more than it used to, (I will apply the lip plumping lipgloss to the top lip only from now on) and my lower jaw seems to be jutting forward a bit more making it a bit more noticeable. I presume that during the course of treatment this will get worse and my lower jaw will become even more prominent and unfortunately may attract even more unwanted attention.

I did have an unwanted attention incident whilst on holiday in Malta, an English couple and their young son decided to have a discussion about the size of my chin and couldn't decide whether i had Bruce Forsyth's chin or Jimmy Hill's chin whilst i was sat opposite them on a bus. (FYI ignorant English couple and your horrid little boy I have Natasha Sephton-Pike's chin and i like it)

 These sorts of comments I have heard many many times before and lots of other comments have been made over the years sometimes to my face, shouted at me as I walk down the street or whispered as i stand near by. It is upsetting and it does hurt when you hear people referring to you like your some kind of freak or an oddity just because you look slightly different, just because I have a larger lower jaw than other people. I did want to say something to that horrid family on the bus, to describe to them in detail the surgery I'm going to have to correct my jaw positioning and size and tell them that people like them are part of the reason why I've chosen to go through this, I wanted to stand there and shout out all of their visible differences and poke fun at them on the bus and see how they like it.

But I didn't, I have learnt over the years that the best thing to do is to just let it go. Leave that incident, that hurt, shame, frustration, anger, tears, leave it all there, just stop take a breath, and leave all of those feelings there and move on, just carry on being me. If I had of said something to that horrid family I would of been carrying around all of those feelings for the rest of the day, the rest of the week, the rest of the month, but because I just let all of those feelings go I enjoyed my day trip round Valletta, eating ice cream, site seeing and having a good time with my boyfriend and enjoying my holiday.

Everybody deals with things in their own way and my "let it go" approach is working for me, when I was younger I didn't let it go, and it really affected me, I really struggled to like me and the way I look. My boyfriend struggled that day to let it go, to not say something to that family, he was really angry and upset that I had to listen and deal with that on my holiday and so was i but it happens and I've learnt that if I don't let it go then it does more damage to me in the long run.

I'm happy with me, my face, how I look, my personality, my life, my choices and it's taken time, a lot of time for me to get to where I am now and to like myself, but I'm here now and It's not going.

I Love Me

1 month in braces pictures

Well me and my braces (and my man) had a brilliant a time in Malta, and me and braces had a particularly significant moment whilst we were away..... but more about that later!!!

Here are some quick pictures I took before I went away to mark the 1 month anniversary of me and braces getting together, it's been... at times a difficult relationship, but ultimately I know braces has my best interests at heart, so all the cut cheeks, sore teeth and lack of certain foods over the month, it's all forgiven braces!

1 month in braces - still smiling

1 month in braces - current bite

1 month in braces - top front teeth are lining up nicely

1 month in braces - the backwards tooth holding my bite is just clinging on, not quite a full underbite yet!

1 month in braces - starting to see the difference!